This modest little advert for All Bran Golden Crunch appears to bring us almost earth shattering news. From what I can gather we are looking at something that has eluded us for many years, and was indeed thought by many to be impossible. It may be that this is a false dawn, and I have yet to put it to the test, but it looks like this ad is talking about All Bran that is actually edible.

In our nation's long and heroic struggle with constipation, and despite the best of intentions, All Bran has not been helpful. Alright, a few hardy souls might have benefited from forcing down a few mouthfuls of this extraordinary stuff, but in the main it has cast a long shadow over any attempts at sensible eating. It is quite rightly viewed as the food of elderly nutters, to be hidden away with the catering packs of Anusol.

Actually, it is not food at all, it is medicine, and a particularly unpalatable one at that. Its very existence is a result of lamentable dietary habits, and it is these we should be looking at in a more general way, rather than purging ourselves with All Bran.

Of course, it is entirely possible that this new All Bran is not all bran at all, but the usual melange of sugar and other over refined ingredients, but that may not be too bad a thing, as, guess what, too much fibre is now thought to be bad for you. Watch this space for further dietary updates.

Apparently our healthcare system is already lottery so I suppose it makes sense to fund it with one. I have seen quite a lot of these gaudily bewigged buffoons on posters, but had no inkling of what they were trying to sell me. Now I have seen the commercial, I am a little bit clearer, but not much.

I think that they are asking us to buy tickets in a health lottery, on the off chance that we might win a prize, and also to support 'health related charities' or something like that. I don't know whether the NHS itself counts as a health related charity, because it obviously ain't a business but I have no objection to funding health care from a lottery.

In fact I think it is a jolly fine idea and I can only regret that it has taken the powers that be, whoever they may be, so long to come up with this wheeze. I gather that lotteries are not as popular as they were, but I suppose it's a case of better late than never.

Be that as it may, I still cannot understand what the idiots in the multi-coloured afros are bringing to the affair. All I can say is that, in my opinion, they are not helping.

It feels cool, it seems exciting, it looks like a misprint. Hancook, what sort of name is that? Surely they mean Hancock, or then again perhaps they don't.

My friend Damian who's a bit of a closet boy racer thinks that they may be a Korean company that makes tyres, in which case they might be Han Kook which I could understand, you know like Dae Woo or Sam Sung.

The fact is though, I didn't get it at all, and if Damian hadn't been there I wouldn't even have got the tyre thing. There's people base jumping and all this other funky outdoorsy stuff, and yes there are a few shots of cars and tyres, but not so you'd notice. And then they end up by saying in that big meaningful voice that they are official sponsors of DDM. Sorry, but I'm missing this entirely. I know I'm only a silly bird but what the fuck is DDM? Even Damian didn't know what this was all about, so I'm kind of asking what is the point? It may make sense if you're Korean.

They're continuing to go absolutely mental down at Heineken towers. I get the distinct impression that someone at Heineken has a distant recollection of a time when they produced some really great advertising. Unfortunately they seem to have forgotten how it was done. Watching their recent ads is like looking at the result of someone trying to paint pictures in the dark. You can see that they're trying terribly hard to be creative, but the results just don't make any sense at all.

This ad is a classic of the genre. I don't know what is happening, or why it's happening. I don't know what they're trying to tell me and I can't even remember the slogan.

I can see that a lot of effort has gone into it, and no doubt quite a lot of thought, though there is little evidence of the latter, but it is all to no avail. The thing is just barking mad, and I can only assume that Heineken is still selling reasonably well and therefore can afford to do without effective advertising.

How do you advertise a perfectly decent airline which has very little to differentiate it from numerous other national carriers? Well, you could go down the heritage route, and for BA that seems reasonably plausible. In various forms our own national carrier has been around for many years. Starting out as Imperial Airways it merged with British Airways, before becoming the British Overseas Aircraft Corporation at the end of WW2 and eventually wound up as British Airways once again in the 1970s.

So, despite the fact that it seems to have ended up quite close to where it started there is obviously a lot of history to play with. Visually this is done with some considerable skill and the commercial is perfectly easy on the eye. The voice over, as is often sadly the case in these heritage pieces, is somewhat overblown, and rests heavily on the engaging pictures.

All that being said, considering the great success of Downton Abbey both here and across the pond I expect this nostalgic approach may play quite well. All BA have to do now is fly somewhere you might want to go to at a price that you might be able to afford.